3 posts tagged “change”

I am staring blankly at my pc... still constructing the resignation letter I will give my manager tonight.

Yeah it has to be short, well-mannared and not so emotional.

Oh yes I am emotional at this point! Whenever I try writing my resignation letter, my head gives me words that sound like I'm breaking up with my boyfriend. Indeed it feels like that. Almost 4 years of comfort under my company's safe wings.

Okay, so I'll copy a resignation template online. I guess that's the best thing to do.

But my heart is compelling me to write a long and emotional letter. Not only for my managers but also to my colleagues. I'm thinking so many versions....

The HR specialist, just called me a while back. Informed me that they raised their offer, closer to what I expected but not quite. I still accepted it, because this time it's not about the monetary value... it's about the new things I will learn and the new experience I will cherish.

Which brings me back to my doodling.

I have been endlessly questioning myself, am I about to do the right thing?

I really do not know. But I want to know, I am just scared that I might make a big mistake.

I have always had this feeling that I'm all dressed up but I have nowhere to go. Now that I have found a place to explore my capabilities, I suddenly felt scared to jump. I don't want to be a lost ball in the high weeds.

I have 2 weeks left, to finish things for my company. To bid goodbye to my friends and dwell on the memories I will bring as I move forward.

I am back to the wall, it's so difficult to decide. Although I know I have already made one. I am just anxious to finalize it.

The ball is in my court. This is it. I have to take the next step and move on.

I guess, I want to make this decision because I don't want to be stuck here and in the future I'd be thinking, "what if I took the job?"

I can always come back if I'm unhappy there. (There goes my consolation!) =P

It breaks my heart to leave. This has been my comfort zone. This place even makes me feel homier than my apartment. But life wouldn't be as fun without change. I don't want to settle for comfort.

I'll miss my friends, I'll miss my desk and my pc with a pink desk top. I'll miss my locker, the pantry, the entire city of Makati. I will sure miss a hell lot'ta things, but missing makes me grow. Detachment makes me strong and changes make me learn.

One thing is certain, I will always carry the values I have learned from this company.

No matter where I go, I will uphold the virtue of a true IBMer.

They say change is inevitable. But I am scared of drastic changes, especially if I don't know what's there waiting for me.

Today I am in complete daze. I dunno, but I think I sort of made this confusion to happen.

A few months back, I started exploring other companies because I got so disappointed with how things are going with my career. Not to mention the financial demand of having a family and the constant inflation of the prices of basic commodoties, the stockpile of loans, in short no matter how my husband and I manage our resources we still can't save for a better future.

Having said that, I applied at this company which is near our hometown. I thought if I got accepted, we will be able to move back to our hometown and we can finally get a house there like what we've always wanted. You see, we don't like to buy a house in Cavite and still work in Makati, especially now that gas is all up in the sky and even if we commute, it will just drain our energy and money. Living in Makati or any where in Metro Manila is not an option as well. Our year of stay here in Makati is okay, but living in a condo is something I would not want for my son. I want him to at least learn how to plant and play outside the streets which we can only do if we live in Cavite.

So the best step to take is to work in Cavite. 

I did apply. It took me 2 months of waiting and yesterday, I finally got an offer. It was a fair offer, although not what I expected. I tried to negotiate as usual and I am still waiting for an update as I write this blog. But I kinda have my mind set already. I am going to leave.

Oh yes... I was able to write that without hesitation. But why am I anxious to do so? Everything came as planned and I am still overwhelmed.

I feel sad that I have to leave my present company. This is where I first worked. This is where my comfort zone is. I've spent four years of my life here and so many things happened in my life and the people here were with me to give me support.

I haven't drafted my resignation letter yet. I am heavy-hearted about this.

I dunno... I am seated here, blankly staring at my pc trying to create a resignaton letter.

But I can't.

current mood

I was browsing my Friendster  friends and came accross the account I built for my colege girlfriends...                         Single Careererz. I felt very sentimental about it... years passed and I miss my friends, the days we hang out at Eliza's Tapsihan, Kinse Lang and Batibot.

Our days we spent by loitering around the campus checking out cute guys and of course bitchin around other college girls. I was a typical kolehiyala back then. I remember, other girls would try to bully me because I was such a "prima donna". Our group was one of the popular group in the College of Accountancy, and I guess one of the favored by the professors since some of us excel in school, but of course, some of us excel in cheating! Hah! We were bunch of "pilyas" (naughty girls) and snobs. We also have a few guy friends in the group and they also have their own share of roguishness.

Our group was mostly dominated by single girls and a single guy (John)- just so you know, he's not gay. We considered him our boyfriend since he's aloof with other girls except with us and he is very dear to us no matter how snob he is. We also have a gay friend Reego who loves designing clothes. We loved that fact that most of us are single, and we enjoyed each time we spent together. No heartaches, no lover's quarrel, no unsafe sex. Haha!

I miss the days we study at the library and the librarian gets mad because we were trying to laugh quietly. I miss the days we splurge on food and movies. We are buch of ladies with voracious appetite! We drink til we drop and we sleep together and wake up with an enormous hang-over. I miss our laughter, as if we don't care at all. If we were from a school of nuns, I thinked we would have been kicked out for we lacked finess and we were tactless.

We were proud that we're single. We were happy just by being each others' dates.

Now that I'm married, I can't call myself "singlecareerer", but I'm happy that I have once founded a cheezy yet fun group. A friendship made to last, even if we're all married or not!

I miss my amigas and amigos!