To be or not to be

They say change is inevitable. But I am scared of drastic changes, especially if I don't know what's there waiting for me.

Today I am in complete daze. I dunno, but I think I sort of made this confusion to happen.

A few months back, I started exploring other companies because I got so disappointed with how things are going with my career. Not to mention the financial demand of having a family and the constant inflation of the prices of basic commodoties, the stockpile of loans, in short no matter how my husband and I manage our resources we still can't save for a better future.

Having said that, I applied at this company which is near our hometown. I thought if I got accepted, we will be able to move back to our hometown and we can finally get a house there like what we've always wanted. You see, we don't like to buy a house in Cavite and still work in Makati, especially now that gas is all up in the sky and even if we commute, it will just drain our energy and money. Living in Makati or any where in Metro Manila is not an option as well. Our year of stay here in Makati is okay, but living in a condo is something I would not want for my son. I want him to at least learn how to plant and play outside the streets which we can only do if we live in Cavite.

So the best step to take is to work in Cavite. 

I did apply. It took me 2 months of waiting and yesterday, I finally got an offer. It was a fair offer, although not what I expected. I tried to negotiate as usual and I am still waiting for an update as I write this blog. But I kinda have my mind set already. I am going to leave.

Oh yes... I was able to write that without hesitation. But why am I anxious to do so? Everything came as planned and I am still overwhelmed.

I feel sad that I have to leave my present company. This is where I first worked. This is where my comfort zone is. I've spent four years of my life here and so many things happened in my life and the people here were with me to give me support.

I haven't drafted my resignation letter yet. I am heavy-hearted about this.

I dunno... I am seated here, blankly staring at my pc trying to create a resignaton letter.

But I can't.